That crazy idea you had at one of your 1am creative sessions with your circle of “world changers” or some ridiculously simple answer you happened to stumble upon on your 40th failed experiment.
The unforeseen encounter with that incredible woman who had no purpose smiling at you or giving you thirty minutes of time, which by the way you would have gladly paid for.
The moment you realized what you were meant to. The moment that explained why you always became so enraged and so saddened at the sight of poor fashion.
The peace and unwavering resolve you felt in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life. The fire and motivation you finally realized had jolted you from your bed and kept that brain of yours whirring for hours on end.
However long these precious moments lasted or however intense they were, all you know is that it shook you.
You’re not the same person that you were before this eureka-like pivot. You’ve made a 180 degree change in the way you now approach your future, your relationships, everything.
Nothing feels the same.
Nothing seems real except that memory, those few seconds of explosive energy that burned up everything you thought you were and believed.
Every moment you catch yourself going back to that time, that feeling, that conviction. Your mind has mutated into a beast of unstoppable force, exerting every capacity for change, innovation, growth, and presentation without really knowing what it really wants.
And it actually becomes both your greatest motivator and your most relentless tormentor.
It’s like your whole life balances on this unstable release of passion that looks more like a wrecking ball than a refined laser.
And you live in the tension of realizing this burning yearning in you and not seeing it manifest nearly as soon as your heart demands it.
The world has become unfamiliar in every regard that doesn’t promote your claim to purpose. Whether it’s your friends, your work, your desires, you filter them through the lens of your newfound hope.
But then tomorrow comes and asks “That was just a silly idea right? You don’t actually think it’s possible do you? You were just vulnerable yesterday.”
Or maybe it’s the next month and it taunts you saying, “Even if you didn’t sleep at all this would be impossible. Does anyone else even care about what you care about?”
Or it’s the next year that starts prodding you with questions like “Is it worth the sacrifice? Do you even remember why you started? It seems like you’re wasting your time. Think about what failure would mean now.”
These are the voices of doubt, the voices of oppression, and the voices of restraint.
And that’s OK.
Just because you can hear the lies doesn’t mean they’re any more true than the boy who cried wolf.
Doubt is normal. However, how much power it has over you and what kind of influence you allow it depends on you. But don’t give in to the false conception that even its existence is an indicator of surrender. In fact, I would argue that it’s the evidence of soon coming breakthrough or revival.
These voices have to band together to stop potential. What choice do they have but muster up their forces to stop you from achieving joy, fulfillment, excitement, and purpose.
They’ve been spawning like rabbits in the greenhouse of complacency, and we’ve nurtured them by feeding them with stereotypes, unheeded standards, and pressures.
And guess what? They’re scared that you’ll stop feeding them. They’re afraid that you’ve found something greater to do than cater to their never-ending needs and growing culinary tastes for acceptance and comfort.
Keep at it. Push through the clutter and the noise and year two, five, or ten will come around and its voice will be a little shaky. It won’t be able to make the same boasts as it used to.
Listen closely and you’ll hear it mutter a quiet surrender under its breath.
Don’t let doubt determine what you’re capable of what opportunities are available to you. Because the bigger the dragon you’re trying to slay, the more times doubt will spring up its ugly head.